If you were to ask me how my marriage was doing before the marriage conference that my wife and I attended last weekend, I would have probably said it’s all good. But after listening to Keith (from Moore Theological College) and Sarah Condie, I would not be as confident in my response. And that’s a good thing. You see, they showed from Scripture as well as good research that the main predictor of divorce is emotional disconnection.
In Genesis 2:25, “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Marriage was designed by God to be a safe and strong place for both husband and wife. But there are things that we can do to threaten the protection provided by marriage. We were designed to “live in the shelter of each other”. But there are things that we say and do, that makes us unaccessible, unresponsive and unengaged with our spouse. I am so thankful that Ailin and I were able to attend and learn from the marriage conference. Our marriage is far from perfect. And my heart was heavy wondering about all the couples that I know in Living Praise. How are all our marriages doing?
The many sessions of couple time during the conference was helpful in getting husband and wife to connect emotionally. I looked around and can’t help but notice how even in this environment, some couples choose not to speak to one another. Sadder still, I hear of couples not attending the conference because one spouse did not want to. Keeping marriage vows is hard work. But thankfully, we have a God who is more than willing to help. Will we recognise that we need help from God in order to have safe and strong marriages?
What was helpful during the marriage conference was that we were seated in business class style, couple seats. During couple time, music would be played loud enough for couples to have private conversations. I enjoyed the playlist. Especially this track by The Civil Wars-Poison and Wine. This song and video tells so well the stories of so many couples. Stories of emotional disconnection. I enjoy it because it warns of the positive and negative things that I can do that will either build or break down my marriage with Ailin. May God help us to always turn towards one another and to be there and with one another.